Sarah E Sears, LCMHC

I’ve always dreamed that I would get up at 5 in the morning and write or do yoga and have lots of things accomplished by 8. Yet I am a person who enjoys being in bed — who relishes in those last minutes surrounded by covers. What was the point of being self-employed? Was it to sleep more or to have more time to do the things I wanted?

When I worked in an office, the first hour of my day was saying hi to folks, grabbing my coffee, checking my e-mail, making the day's list. I was setting myself for the day.

Our routines set the foundation and the structure for our days, weeks, or years. It would be hard to build a house without the foundation and frame. Routines and rituals are part of how we make meaning in our lives. 

Typically, things that are significant we do routinely and regularly — from brushing our teeth to celebrating birthdays. Think about when you meet someone. Usually you shake hands and say hello and then exchange pleasantries. If you’re not following this routine, it feels a little awkward and there is a sense of confusion. Structure and routine ease our anxious brains. 

Take greeting someone again: If there is nothing routine happening, our brains might go into overdrive trying to figure out what this means. Maybe this person doesn’t like me. What should I be doing? What do I do know? All of that takes mental and emotional energy.

Not all areas of our lives need to be routine. Change, unknowns, new things are exciting, and they take up energy — precious energy. So we want to be intentional about how we use that energy. I like to schedule unplanned time and down time. This also eases my post-grad-school brain, which keeps wondering what homework I have do or what project I should be doing. Or my self-employed brain, which knows there’s always work to be doing. I give myself permission to relax, to do yoga, to sit with friends, to be in the moment.

What I am beginning to realize is that being self-employed doesn’t mean that I should not have a routine. I have talked with this gremlin who wispers in my ear that routines will take away freedom. I have realized that this gremlin is not interested in my forward momentum and personal growth; this gremlin is interested in feeding the fear and the anxiety. The foundation from which I grow my day, and my year, can be as simple as 15 minutes of meditation and spending the 15 minutes it takes to check out the calendar for the day and the to-do list, and make an action plan.

If I look at my dreams and goals and ask myself the question, What kind of foundation do I need to support myself to get there? then I can create a routine, not because I'm supposed to or because It's good for me ... Instead, I will be creating the kind of routine that will help me move toward the kind of life I want to be living.