I am a turtle

“The ability to perceive or think differently is more important than the knowledge gained.”
― David Bohm

When faced with an illness or injury that allopathic medicine can't clearly address, one embarks on a journey of exploration. Initially, this exploration may be hindered by feelings of sadness and grief, stemming from the inability to 'fix' things conventionally. I found myself confronting biases about 'alternative' healing methods. What were the internal voices that had closed me off? What fears held me back? Did I want to be perceived as someone who believed solely in science? How about the unexplained phenomena and the realization that science wasn't providing the answers I sought? Moreover, there was the undeniable strength of the placebo effect.

Challenging health issues offer the potent gift of expanding one's thinking. In my experience, this expansion led me to an ayahuasca journey where, on the first night, I sat in lotus position, eager to explore. The presence of deceased relatives, friends, and beings from both earthly and spiritual realms filled my heart with joy. The melodic icharos guided my journey.

The following day, contemplating the effects, I wondered if taking less medicine could yield a meaningful experience for my delicate constitution. As I sat, allowing my mind to wander, a loud, unexpected voice, my own, declared, "YOU ARE A TURTLE." Laughter ensued, and the message was clear – I could go slow.

Discussing this revelation with the Shaman, I found support. Every lineage and tradition offer different perspectives on medicine dosage, and I found myself in lineages that allowed personal choice.

In settings like yoga retreats, spiritual gatherings, and trainings, I often keep to myself, valuing inner reflection over extensive conversations. One day, a fellow participant shared an intriguing experience from the previous night's ceremony. His guides had identified me as a turtle – strong and grounded. Skeptical of metaphysical encounters, I was amazed at the confirmation that the world is far greater than our understanding.

Entering my second journey with a 'turtle dose' of medicine, my departed friend returned, eager to teach me to fly. We soared amidst fantastical buildings of vibrant color, retreating to the beach whenever overwhelmed, transforming into a turtle swimming in the ocean. Ready to resume my original form, I sailed between buildings with my friend once again.

Turtles carry numerous mythical meanings. As Ted Andrews notes in "Animal Speak," the turtle is an animal whose magic can help unite heaven and earth within your own life.